The Great Love
by She Loves Her
Summary: Spencer and Ashley meet in a wartorn land and fall in love, but both are haunted by their turbulent pasts. Spashley AU
1. I, II

**Author's Notes**: I've posted this story on another site and I wanted to see what the reception would be on this one. Updates will be fairly quick, as I've got a majority of it already written. Hopefully, you will enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of it. Sad.

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The Great Love

Part One

I.

The guitar was out of tune. It had been out of tune for years, and the slightly off kilter notes don't deter the old, gnarled fingers playing them.

Behind the broken guitar is a woman, an old woman who has seen countless things. Her hair falls in long, gray curls down the length of her back. She doesn't bother to sweep it back when a wayward curl falls into her eye. A wry grin spreads itself across her lined face and she stops playing for a moment.

"Hey you kids!" Her voice is raspy and dry and it stops the children – playing across the survivor's camp – in their tracks. Parents look up from their work and shake their heads when they realize who is yelling. "C'mere!"

The children follow the command reluctantly. They sit in front of her when she indicates for them to rest in the grass. "Ya wanna hear a story?"

One brave child rolls his eyes, "We already heard all yer stories!"

"Ya haven't heard this one," she snaps, "Now, just set yer butt down and we'll get to it!" She mutters something about 'little bastards' and 'guns'.

No one speaks up again.

Her fingers ghost over the strings, not making a sound, before she plays one perfectly imperfect note and begins:

"Well, ya'll know about the Great War, I bet, but do ya know 'bout the Great Love?" A short pause, and then – without really waiting for a response – she continued, "Didn't think so."

II.

_time it was and what a time it was, a time of innocence, a time of confidences_

The guitar is out of tune.

But Ashley doesn't mind – she's just so happy to have an instrument in her hands for the first time in so long (it feels like _years_, probably is) that she doesn't mind the sound. She hadn't even checked it before she shoved five bucks into the rough hands of an old man in the Underground. When it was revealed in the harsh daylight, cracks and scratches were evident all along the body. An especially prominent crack ran from the neck down, seemingly splitting the instrument in half.

Madison had almost killed her when she had returned, beaten guitar in hand and a skip in her step. She had ranted on, muttering things like 'captured' and 'leaving me alone', but Ashley was preoccupied by her new possession.

She plopped down on a log by the ashes of their campfire from the night before and began to play. Shakily, at first, because of the long span of time that had passed since she last played. Her fingers gained confidence slowly as they fluttered across the strings, bringing forth odd sounds.

Her companion, when she took a second to breath during her tirade and realized Ashley was no longer listening (most likely never had been), sank down – with a exaggerated sigh and a flick of her thick, long dark hair – onto another log across the fire pit.

Ashley's mouth spreads into a wide grin, her husky voice mischievous. "Any requests?"

"How 'bout you take that piece of shit back and get our money?" Madison glared fiercely, but Ashley laughed brazenly; she was used to Madison's moods.

"You need to lighten up, babe." Madison shakes her head and sulks, crossing her arms and pouting childishly. Ashley lets her, knowing she'll stop soon enough if she doesn't indulge the petulant Latina.

A light, jumpy tune begins to form under Ashley's hands and she taps her foot along to the music happily. She doesn't bother to move a strand of dark curly hair when it falls in her muddy brown eyes.

"We should head into the Underground again, tomorrow, pick up some more supplies." Ashley looks up at the other girl, who had decided to speak up mere minutes after her overstated show of annoyance.

Ashley raises an eyebrow, "Oh, look who's decided to join the party."

"Fuck you," Madison rolls her eyes, "we need some things if we're going to head out soon." Ashley nods, eyebrows furrowing. "How much money do we have left?" They had managed to get a fairly sizeable stash of money the last time they had found suitable jobs. Before the seekers found them, that is. After that, they hadn't been able to find any safe work for quite some time.

Ashley gave her a sheepish look. Madison's eyes narrowed, "How much, Ash'?"

"Relax, relax Mads." Ashley set the guitar down, holding out her hands to try and placate the other girl.

"Ashley! How much money is left?" Madison was used to Ashley's methods of diversion and sidestepped them easily.

"Uh…a couple bucks, maybe three?"

"A couple bucks? How much did you spend on that damn thing?" She gestured wildly toward the guitar currently leaning on the log next to Ashley's leg.

"Probably more than I should tell you."

"Jesus, Ash'! What the hell are we gonna do? You knew we needed that money!"

"Ok, calm down, Mads, we'll figure something out.

"I can't believe you could be that reckless!" A pause. "Actually, yes I can," Ashley was nothing if not impulsive, "I just don't get why you were so stupid. The way we're going, there isn't any way to get more. I was counting on that money, Ash'."

"Look, it'll be okay. We've survived on less."

"And I was looking forward to having a fucking comfortable existence for once!" Madison was sounding more and more distraught as she went on, tears forming in her eyes. Ashley rushed over and enveloped Madison in her strong arms. Years of running, along with her former captivity, had broken the girl down in more ways than one. She could never be as tough as Ashley was.

Madison sobbed into the shoulder of Ashley's dark leather jacket as the curly haired girl rubbed her back soothingly, murmuring comforting words into her ear. Ashley was very good at provoking her pain – most of the time without meaning to – but better, much better, at soothing it.

After a time, the tears waned and Madison's head rose. Wet green looked into dark brown, "You're gonna be the death of me, Ash'"

Ashley laughed, holding the other girl tightly still, "Maybe."

When Madison was calm again, Ashley returned to her former seat, taking the guitar in hand once again. This time, when the musician asked for any requests, the other girl simply said, "Play something cheerful."

Ashley did so, happily.

Later, when the soft sounds had lulled Madison into a drowsy state and the fire had been built up to ward off the chill of night, a rustling came from the bushes off beyond the ruins of the Old Regime, where the two girls had set up camp.

Fingers stilled over still vibrating strings and Madison's eyes shot open, back tensing. Another sound came from the same area and Ashley set the guitar down – slowly as to not make any noise. She crouched low and reached into her waistband for her gun, reassured by its weight in her hand. She looked over to Madison and saw her in a similar position with her own gun in her shaking hands. Their eyes said the same thing: _seekers_.

Ashley gestured for her to remain – Madison nodded and looked to her with nervous eyes – and she set off stealthily for the source of the sounds. Her bare feet made no noise as she moved slowly.

As she got closer, a low moan sounded and she stopped, body tense and waiting. When no other sound came, she continued. When she was close enough, she used her free hand to draw back the leaves of greenery, the other holding her gun aloft.

What she saw left her immobile, staring at the cause of the sounds in confusion. (_A young girl, hair shining in the sun. "Love you, Ash'!")_

It was Madison's whispering of her name that broke her trance, and she ushered the other girl over, whispering an urgent "C'mere!"

Madison came, though reluctantly, and she gasped as she saw what Ashley had.

A girl lay in the dirt, clothes in tatters, traces of blood evident across her slight body and blonde hair fanning out behind her on the ground. She looked almost like an angel.

"Who is it?" Madison murmured.

"I don't know." Ashley was preoccupied by the unidentified girl, only absently answering the other girl's question. Another moan, a quieter one, escaped from the girl's lips.

"Well, what should we do?"

Instead of answering, Ashley bent down, bringing her arms under the nameless girl's back and legs, picking her up with minimal effort. The girl's bright hair fell limp in a wave as she was lifted.

"Ash', what're you doing!"

Again, Ashley didn't answer, simply walking back to their small camp with the small weight of the girl in her arms. Madison followed anxiously.

"We don't even know who she is. She could be a spy!" At that, the girl shifted in the Ashley's muscular arms, curling inward toward her chest and letting out a heavy sigh. A small smile formed on Ashley's lips.

"She's not a spy." Her voice was whisper soft as she set the angelic girl down in the dirt near the fire.

Madison rolled her eyes, "How the hell would you know?"

Ashley sighed, "Mads, can you just get me some water and a blanket."

The other girl did as she was told, muttering under her breath the whole time. When she returned, Ashley was leaning over the girl on the ground, studying her with a soft smile. Madison grunted to get the other girl's attention and shoved the requested items into her hands as soon as she turned.

Ashley ignored Madison's obvious irritation in favor of taking care of the mystery girl. She lifted the girl's head and set the blanket under it, folded up. Then, she slapped the girl's cheek lightly, whispering for her to wake up. The girl stirred, groaning painfully.

Her eyebrow's furrowed and she writhed in place, stretching as much as her aching muscles would allow. When she opened her eyes – a brilliant baby blue color – Ashley saw someone else, for a second. She was running, hair billowing behind her and (_blue_) eyes sparkling.

Then Ashley blinked and there was a different pair of blue looking at her curiously. "Who are you?" The girl's voice was raspy, unused. Ashley didn't reply – she grabbed the cup of water Madison had retrieved and put it to the blonde girl's lips, allowing her to drink greedily. "Thank you," the girl said, voice a little better but still hoarse.

"No problem."

There was a pause – minutes, maybe hours – while the girls just looked at each other, Ashley seeing something else, a little lost in her own head.

Madison finally broke the silence from her place on the sidelines, "Who the hell are you?" It was almost a growl and the blonde girl looked to her with confusion – she hadn't realized there was another girl in the vicinity. Madison stood on the other side of the fire, flames dancing across her body and lighting up her smooth features. Her arms were crossed and eyebrows raised as she regarded the injured girl with disdain.

"Uh…I'm…," she looked to both of the girls nervously, "I-I'm Spencer." She relaxed slightly when she saw the blank looks on their faces. No one asked for a last name – no one had last names anymore, not really.

"Well, _Spencer_, what are you doing here?" Madison's aggravation is tangible, and Ashley's not really sure where it all is coming from.

"I-I don't know," She rises up on her elbows, looking around confusedly, "I don't know how I got here." Madison snorts derisively. "Can you help me?"

Madison begins to protest, but Ashley cuts her off. "Sure we will." A wide grin spreads across her mouth. "I'm Ashley." She holds out her hand confidently and Spencer takes it with hesitation. "That's Madison," she tips her head in the other girl's direction, Spencer's hand still comfortably encompassed in hers.

--

It seemed the injuries were less severe than they had seemed: a few bruises and scratches, but nothing too serious. Spencer felt better already.

"So, Spencer, where're you from?"

Spencer looked up from her meal (at least, the measly meal that Madison and Ashley could scrounge up – they were running a little low, but the curly haired girl insisted on giving Spencer anything she needed) at Ashley, who had asked her the question. Madison sat on the other log, sullen and silent.

She shifted and tugged a little at the clothes Ashley had leant her, a pair of sweatpants and a faded black tee. "Uh…well, all over, really. We moved around a lot. You know, with the war and everything." Ashley nodded her head in understanding.

"Where's your family?"

"Uh...I don't really know." She gives a thin smile. "We were separated a long time ago."

"Sorry to hear that." Madison sounds almost sincere, and Spencer looks to her, startled. "My parents died when I was young," she offers as explanation and shrugs. The blonde nods and Madison smiles tightly.

"So," Ashley claps her hands together to break the somber moment, a wide grin forming, "who's ready for some music?" Spencer looks confused and Madison rolls her eyes.

The curly haired girl picks up her trusty (well, not so trusty) instrument and strums the strings, finding the sound just that side of in tune, once again. She doesn't mind this time, and she doesn't think she'll mind for a long time after. It feels almost _right_, the guitar settled against her body, fitting her wonderfully. She feels good, with Spencer's soft smile and Madison's grumpy, yet somehow encouraging, look.

She begins playing, settling into a rhythm. It sounds better, somehow, with the blonde girl smiling at her and Madison is even starting to enjoy the music, the peeved look on her face receding.

It is an easy tune she is playing, and Ashley let her mind wander as her fingers played the simple notes. This mystery girl has caught her attention. She knows it isn't the most intelligent decision to allow a stranger to stay with them, especially with the New Regime looming over them, gaining power every day. Spies were everywhere, and the curly-haired girl was well aware of that. But something about this girl struck something within Ashley, reminded her of someone long past.

But she didn't need to think about that.

She speeds up her fingers, picks something more complicated to concentrate on.

Her eyes only leave the strings once during her performance – one that left her fingers sore and hand aching – and they meet Spencer's. They remain there for innumerable seconds before Madison makes a sound to the left of the girls and the blonde looks down with a shy smile, making Ashley grin.

Ashley stops playing sometime around midnight, setting the guitar down carefully on the ground, far away from the fire. Madison is already asleep in her blankets by the fire, snoring loudly. Ashley shakes her head and grins at the sight.

She then turns her attention to Spencer, who is sitting on a log, fidgeting uncomfortably. Ashley stands and grabs her own blankets, tossing them to the other girl. "Here, you take those. I'll sleep without them."

"Oh no, I couldn't do that." She tries to give them back to the curly-haired girl, but Ashley is stubborn.

"Just take 'em. I don't need the warmth." Spencer lowers her hands, clutching the blankets (that have a slight scent of cinnamon to them) to her chest.

"T-Thank you."

"No problem." And with that, the dark-haired girl strips off her jacket and lies on the ground, placing the item under her head as a makeshift pillow. Spencer stands for a few more moments before placing the blankets on the ground in a bed-like shape and lying down on them, pulling one over herself. The last thing she sees before closing her eyes and letting sleep take her is Ashley, shivering in the cold.

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Review?


	2. III

Thank you for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this update, too. Also, updates may be a little infrequent, as I have a lot going on in the next two weeks or so.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

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The Great Love

Part One (Continued)

III.

_I need to be brave to save your day_

When Ashley awoke, she became aware of three things at once. One, there was a slight weight hanging over her, a blanket. Two, the sun was shining right in her eyes. And three, something was cooking. She sat up swiftly, covering falling away, her hand groping for her gun. She looked around, a wild, nervous look in her eyes.

Then, she saw her.

She's squatting by the fire, poking something in a pan with a stick. Her hair is tangled and her clothes disheveled from a night's sleep. Her wounds have appeared to heal marvelously, looking much better than they had. She looks beautiful, holy.

Ashley relaxes her grip on her firearm and looks over to the still sleeping figure of Madison, mouth wide and drool at the corner of her mouth. The curly-haired girl grins, falls back and settles one arm behind her head, the other over her stomach. She drifts back into a light doze.

--

_"Hmm, something smells good." Ashley stumbled into the kitchen groggily, eyes half closed, following her nose to the kitchen where Jess was cooking up a delicious-smelling breakfast. _

_"I'm surprised you're up so early." The other girl didn't turn as she said this, body swaying to the beat coming from the radio by the side of the stove. Ashley didn't reply, and she jumped a little when strong hands settled over her hips, a sleep-warmed body pressing close to her. One of those hands lifted, drawing black, wavy locks away from her ear. Ashley's head settled in the crook of her neck and placed a feather-light kiss there. Jess giggled and grinned as confident hands began to wander, settling over her tan, bare stomach. "I can't cook with you doing that, Ash'." _

_The girl behind her chuckled and rasped, "Sorry," before removing her hands and stepping back. "Where's Kyla?" Ashley hopped up on the counter and looked around, puzzled by the absence of her kid sister. _

_"Outside, she'll be back for breakfast." _

_As soon as she said this, a jubilant girl with dark hair and shining blue eyes burst through the back door, running into the kitchen. "Ash'!"_

_Ashley hopped down from her perch speedily and met the girl readily when she jumped into her arms, sweeping her into a bear hug. Ashley laughed and spun her seven year old sister, nine years younger than herself, in the air. Kyla squealed and giggled, feet swinging in the air. When her big sister set her back on her feet, she recounted all her morning's adventures excitedly. Ashley listened with rapt attention, nodding and answering her sister's questions at all the right times._

_A man cleared his throat from the doorway of the kitchen and the three inhabitants of the kitchen looked up in surprise. He stood there, hair wild and unkempt, but clothes – a black suit – neatly pressed and fitted to his body. The man looked to each of the girls with sharp gray eyes, pausing noticeably at Jess' scantily clad form – she only wore a bikini top and an old pair of Ashley's shorts. _

_Ashley rose from her position crouching on the floor and stood straight, looking right into her father's eyes. The other girls fidgeted nervously in their positions. _

_The overwhelming silence was broken by a laugh, loud and abrupt, coming from the man. His face spread into a wide grin and he opened his arms wide. Kyla rushed over and was once again swept up into a tight embrace._

"_So, how have my girls been," he asked of his youngest daughter. She reverted back into her wild chatter, telling her father all about the week they'd had while he'd been gone on Regime business. Ashley smiled and turned to Jess, flipping pancakes by the stove._

_She slid close, pressing her body to Jess' back. "How's breakfast coming," she whispered in her ear, brushing her lips against it._

_"Almost done, babe, just wait a few more minutes." _

_"But I'm hungry now." A slight whining note came into Ashley's voice and she rested her head on the other girls shoulder, pouting._

_"Stop being impatient and set the table." Stern, with a hint of a grin._

_"Yes ma'am." Ashley swatted Jess on the ass before stepping away and to the cupboard to get plates. As she set the table, Raife looked up, setting his little daughter down. _

_"I missed you, Ashley." _

_Ashley smiled a soft, sad smile. "I missed you too…dad." _

--

Ashley woke with a start, once again. This time Madison was awake also, talking to Spencer as they ate with their fingers. She sat up slowly, throwing the blanket away. The groggy girl stood slowly, stretching to work out the kinks from sleeping on the hard ground. When she was finished, and her eyes were fully open, she saw Spencer looking at her, a glint in her eye. She stared back and smiled when the other girl looked away, blushing.

The just-awoken girl sat on a log next to Spencer heavily, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "So, Mads, what's on the agenda for today?"

"We have to head into the Underground before we leave, pick up some supplies." She hesitates a second. "We can…drop Spencer off there."

Ashley's sleepy smile drops slightly, but she nods without hesitation. "Yeah, sure." She turns to Spencer, "You can find somewhere to stay there, get on your way back…home." She smiles slightly, painfully at the word 'home'.

--

Later that day, all three girls head into the Underground. Spencer is stunned by the shear amount of people – most dirty and barely clothed – that populate the small space. An acrid smell floods her senses and she feels the slight urge to vomit.

It is situated in an abandoned part of the city, mostly in the neglected tunnels formerly used during war times. With the war over with (or mostly over, anyway), the soldiers abandoned their former posts and the exiles flooded the area, searching for a safe haven. Ashley and Madison had met in the Underground, during the early days of its existence. They were together ever since.

When Spencer is jostled by one too many passersby, almost losing the other girls, who navigate the crowds deftly, Ashley grasps her arm, pulling her along and shoving people out of the way unapologetically. The blonde stumbles along and tries not to brush up against anyone (a near impossibility, with the limited space).

They reach a wall covered with different booths of sellers, all yelling and gesturing with the various wares, mostly junk. Madison and Ashley head directly towards a booth in the far corner, the muscular girl still pulling Spencer along. A tall, bulky man stands behind a booth filled with various items. He smiles a crooked, yellow smile when he sees the girls.

"Hey, Larry."

"Why hello Ashley, Madison." Ashley grins, Madison too. Spencer's arm is still in Ashley's firm grip. "What can I get for you ladies?" Sleaze oozes from his mouth; Spencer thinks he isn't just talking about goods.

"We just need a few supplies, Lar." Madison pulls a list out of her jacket pocket and Larry leans forward to look at it.

"Hey, we'll be back later, k' Mads?" Ashley bounces a little, anxious to go.

"Sure," she replies absently.

Ashley begins walking, leading Spencer once again.

When they're far enough away, the blonde asks, "Who was that guy?" She sees his leer in her head.

"Larry? He's just a' old friend, guy me an' Mads met awhile ago."

"Friend?"

Ashley smiles, "He helps us out when we're a little low on cash." She rushes along the different passages, eyes searching for something as Spencer trips behind her.

Her eyes brighten as she spots a door, marked with a warped star etched into the wood. She enters, allowing Spencer to go first and glancing around the packed tunnel before following.

The room is small, dimly lit. A fire is roaring in the fireplace. A man, old and haggard, sits at a desk in the corner. The soft light shines off his balding head. He looks up at the click of the door closing. When he catches sight of Ashley, curly hair in disarray from traveling around the Underground, he smiles widely and stands. He takes long strides and engulfs the girl in his arms, laughing loudly. "Ashley, it's so good to see you! How've you been, my girl?"

She laughs, too. "I've been good, doing my thing. How are you, Jim?"

"Better, now you're here." Ashley looks down, a shy smile across her lips. He lets her go and leans back against his desk, arms crossed, relaxed. "Do you need something, Ashley?"

"Uh…yeah, actually. Ya see, my friend here," she points at Spencer, standing awkwardly in the center of the room, "she needs a place to stay until she can get on her feet."

Jim nods, "We've got a couple 'a places, we can find somewhere for a little while." Ashley doesn't feel as relieved as she thought she would, strangely.

"Awesome." She stands straighter, nodding curtly. "I should probably be going, gotta get to Mads before she gets angry."

Jim laughs knowingly, "Wouldn't want to get Madison angry."

She chuckles too, out of obligation. Then she turns to Spencer, an almost apologetic look on her face. "Well, I guess this is it."

"Yeah, thanks for your help."

"No problem."

They stand awkwardly for several moments, looking at each other before Ashley steps forward abruptly and pulls the other girl into a strong hug. "Take care of yourself, Spencer." The brunette felt the other girl nod against her cheek. She pulled away, and Ashley felt blue eyes falling away, too.

Ashley stepped swiftly to the door, wrenching it open and yelling a quick 'bye' before slipping into the crowd once again. Spencer turned to Jim as the door closed.

Ashley finds Madison near Larry's booth, checking out a dress. It is tattered and slightly dirty, with a noticeable rip under the arm. The color matches Madison's eyes. She looks at it longingly for a moment before replacing it on the rack.

"Hey Mads." Ashley grins as Madison jumps, turning with her eyes wide with shock.

"Oh Ash, hey!"

"That's a nice dress."

Madison glances back at it, then gives Ashley a sheepish look. "Uh, yeah, it's okay."

"You want it?"

The Latina shakes her head, giving the other girl an exasperated look. "We can't afford it." She walks away irritated and Ashley stands there for a few moments, a little confused, before trailing the other girl.

--

They've gotten all their supplies and they're about to leave when a scream splits the air. Ashley whirls around, searching in the direction that the sound originated from. She looks to Madison, a silent look of understanding passing between them – it sounded like Spencer.

Ashley burst into a run towards the scream, shoving people out of the way and shouting for them to move. The curly-haired girl swept through the crowd swiftly, using her considerable strength to push her way through. Another scream erupted from a passage of the main tunnel and Ashley rushed to it.

When she reached the mouth of the channel, she saw Spencer against a wall with a thin, raggedy man in front of her, blocking her escape. Ashley charged over and tackled him, lifting him bodily and sending them both to the floor. Her fists flew wildly, connecting with the man's body violently. He cried out and struggled to push her off him but she rode out his struggles with ease. The only thing that stopped her was Spencer hauling her away with arms around her waist.

Ashley flailed madly and the blonde let her go, allowing Ashley to stand on her own. The girl's breathe was harsh, chest heaving with the need for air. Her muddy gaze didn't leave the man lying on the ground, curling in on himself with a few whimpers.

At that moment – with Spencer standing to the side with a frightened look on her face and Ashley staring into space blankly, knuckles bloody – Madison arrived, breathing heavily from her run. She looked frantically to each girl, "Are you okay?" Neither answered her. "Ash!" The girl looked up, the slight glazed look in her eyes fading. "What happened?" She thanked God Ashley had forgotten her gun when she glanced to the bloody body.

"I…I don't know." They both look to Spencer, on the sidelines with an absent look of bewilderment on her face as she looks at the bearded man on the ground. He hasn't made a sound in a little while.

"Spencer?" Madison asks quietly. Her blue eyes connect with Madison's green and she looks lost.

"He…I-I was supposed to follow him." She swallowed, tearing her eyes from the other girl's and they fall back on the beaten man. "Jim told me to follow him."

Ashley reached out, but stopped short of touching Spencer, letting her arm drop. "He brought me here, he grabbed me, he…he said…things, he wouldn't let me go." She searched with teary blue eyes and stopped at Ashley's hard brown. "Why would he do that?"

"I-I…I don't….know." The girl stuttered out a respond under Spencer's piercing gaze.

Spencer gaze fell once again and she looked around slowly, looking lost. "I jus…" And she collapsed, legs giving way under the weight of the events. Ashley caught her and scooped her up in one fluid motion. She held the fragile girl in her arms carefully, almost reverently.

She met Madison's questioning gaze and said "Let's go" gruffly. She passed the other girl without a glance back and pushed through the crowd, angelic girl still in her arms. The remaining girl picked up their packages and followed, slowly.

* * *

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	3. IV

IV

IV.

_isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?_

"Ashley, we can't take her with us!"

"What else are we supposed to do? I can't leave her here, Mads, Not after what happened."

"You're gonna have to, 'cause she's not coming."

"Why not!" Ashley paced back and forth, running her hands through her hair roughly, as Madison stood her ground, eyes full of fury.

"It's too dangerous and you know it!"

"I'm not leaving her again, not after what happened!"

"What is your fascination with this girl anyway, Ash'?" Ashley stopped in her tracks at Madison's quiet question. Her face twisted in an expression like confusion.

"I-Mads, I don't…" A soft sigh interrupted Ashley, sending her to Spencer's side within seconds. "Spencer?" The girl in question opened her eyes reluctantly and looked at Ashley in bewilderment.

"Wha…" She sat up, with Ashley's gentle assistance. "…what's going on?"

"Aah, you fainted Spence'. We brought you back t' camp."

Spencer looked around frantically, "But why did I…" She sat back suddenly, leaning into the other girl, who held her steadily. "Oh." Ashley tried a small smile as Spencer remembered the events that brought her back with them, but she only managed a small twitch of her lips. "I don't remem…there was a man. He…he attacked me." Ashley nodded with a remorseful gleam in her eyes.

"I-_we_ found you," the apologetic girl supplied.

"You saved me?"

She looks so sweet and innocent (and so reminiscent of another naive girl she knew) that Ashley can't help but grin and say, "Yeah, I'm your knight in shining armor."

--

_"Tell me a story?" _

_"What kinda story ya want, Kye?"_

_"A fairy tale, with a pretty princess and a knight. You know, with kisses and stuff."_

_Ashley chuckled from her spot sitting next to Kyla's legs on her pink bed. The little girl was all curled up in bed, covers to her chin (placed lovingly by Ashley). "Ok, let me think…well, once upon a time there was a princess with long, beautiful blonde hair and shining blue eyes named Samantha. She was the prettiest girl ever born, and also the nicest anyone had ever known. She lived with her father, the kind king Arthur. The princess was happy, but she wished for someone to love, for her soul mate. She searched the kingdom high and low to find the person she was meant to be with._

_"One day, a knight came to the kingdom on a mission to fight a dragon and he stopped at the castle to pay his respects to the king and princess. Princess Samantha fell in love the moment she saw him, handsome in his armor with gorgeous brown eyes and…"_

_"Wait!" Ashley looked up, surprised by Kyla's outburst. Her sister had sat up, flinging off her covers with excitement._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"I don't like the knight, he's not right."_

_"Well, what do ya want him to be like?"_

_The young girl looked contemplative for a second before her eyes lit up with an idea. "Make 'em like you! You're the bravest person I know!"_

_"Like a girl and everything?"_

_"Yeah, like you and Jess!"_

_Ashley smiled, "Oook. Here we go again." She paused for dramatic effect with a mischievous grin on her face. "The knight arrived at the castle and Princess Sam fell in love at first sight. The knight was a girl, not a boy, because boys are ugly and smelly." Kyla giggled in glee, clapping her hands. "She was beautiful, like the princess, but strong and brave, braver than any guy knight. Her name was Amanda. Her hair was curly and cut short and her eyes were deep pools of brown, so deep the princess thought she would drown in them. The knight fell in love with the princess, too, but she didn't act all girly and shi…er, stuff, 'cause ya gotta act cool if ya wanna get the girl." Ashley said matter-of-factly and Kyla nodded along, taking in the information. "They kissed that night, under the stars, and the knight proclaimed her everlasting love to the fair princess, bein' all smooth and charmin'," Ashley winked._

_"But Amanda still had to fight the dragon, so she said goodbye to her girl and set off to defeat it. Samantha stayed at the castle for a week, biting her nails and waiting for her brave knight to return. Finally, Amanda returned, a little beat up, but victorious and lookin' really sweaty and hot. They embraced, and kissed and then Amanda picked her up, took her to bed and made sweet, sweet lo…" A throat cleared from the doorway and Ashley looked up to see Jess leaning against the door, shaking her head in amusement. Ashley gave her a sheepish smile. "Well…let's just say they lived happily ever after."_

_Kyla clapped and cheered, hugging her big sister with enthusiasm, "That was the best story ever!"_

_Ashley laughed and made Kyla lay back, tucking her in once again, "It's time for you to go to sleep now, kiddo. So shut your eyes or I'll beat ya up." Kyla giggled and squirmed as the older girl poked her in the sides. _

_Her sister stood and headed towards the door, giving Jess a peck on the lips when she got close enough. She took the other girl's hand and went to leave, but Kyla called out for her. Ashley turned with raised eyebrows and Kyla gave a timid smile, "You're my knight 'n shining armor." _

_Ashley grinned and nodded, "Yup, and I'll always protect you. Now go to sleep, rugrat." _

_"Ok, Ash'. Night."_

_"Night." She and Jess left, hand in hand, and Kyla drifted to sleep moments later, a secure smile across her lips._

_--_

The guitar's sound filled the night air, the only noise in an otherwise dead night. Ashley stared into the fire as her fingers moved, ignoring her companions. The fight between her and Madison had not been resolved – Madison was just being stubborn (and a bitch), according to Ashley – and Spencer had been silent the entirety of the night, sensing the tension between the friends. The blonde girl shifted uncomfortably on a log, the air heavy with unresolved conflicts.

Playing the guitar has agitated Ashley rather than calm her, making her annoyed for their avoidance of the issue. Madison huffs every once and awhile, sitting primly on a log with her arms crossed over her chest tightly.

When the Latina sighed for the hundredth time, Ashley stopped playing abruptly, slamming her hand against her instrument. Spencer flinched, fixing her gaze on the ground, but Madison just raised her eyebrows at the other girl.

"Fuck, Madison, what is your problem?"

"You know what my problem is, Ashley. She can't go with us!" Spencer kept her gaze to the dirt resolutely, but her eyes watered slightly as she listened to the argument.

"She's not going back there, I don't care what you say. It's not safe."

"So _what_? We've known her for a day, she's not our responsibility!"

"She is. I'm not losing her, not again," Ashley murmured, eyes pleading with the other girl.

"Oh, Ash," Madison's eyes widened in realization and a pitying note comes into her voice. "She's not…"

"Stop. She's coming, that's final." Ashley's jaw was set, eyes hard. Madison acquiesced, giving a small nod. Spencer looked to each of the girls with confusion, wondering what had just transpired.

Both girls looked far away for several minutes before Ashley perked up suddenly, looking to Spencer with a grin. "So, you ready to travel with the crazies?" Her smile was infectious and the blonde returned it with a small one of her own. She nodded quickly.

Ashley resumed her playing with barely a glance to Madison. Her fingers danced with vigor, and soon the argument was forgotten.


	4. V

Thank you for all the reviews, they are very appreciated.

--

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

V.

_forget, forgotten I am moving past this_

They left the next day. Madison gave Spencer two full packs, a heavy load that Spencer tired quickly under, but she didn't complain. The Latina girl walked ahead with a smug grin.

Ashley walked behind the blonde girl and, noticing her struggling with the weight, took a bag from her, slinging it over her shoulder along with her already hefty pack. She didn't show any sign of trouble or effort and she didn't seem to look for thanks, only carrying the weight resolutely. Spencer shot her a grateful smile and Ashley winked. Madison looked at the exchange with a frown.

They travel along a dirt road for miles, leaving Spencer tired and weary, not so used to the long distances that Madison and Ashley had bore. While she had traveled far, she never pushed herself and she hadn't gained the endurance she needed to keep up.

By the time they set up camp, it was late in the evening, the sun about to set. Ashley and Madison worked quickly and efficiently to set up camp and build a fire before dark set in with them unprotected. The blonde stood to the side, unsure what to do. The other girls largely ignored her, focused on their tasks, but the quick, reassuring smile Ashley gave her while she was gathering logs eased her nervousness.

When they're finally settled, minutes before the sun set completely, Ashley pulls out her guitar again. Despite all Madison's grumbling, a small smile flickered across her face when the girl began playing. Ashley grinned in return.

Once again, Madison was asleep and snoring quickly, leaving the other girls to talk.

"So, what was your family like?" Ashley still played, but her eyes were fixed upon Spencer, waiting for an answer to her question. The other girl looked up briefly before moving her eyes back to the fire.

She didn't speak or move for several moments, but Ashley didn't waver, gaze locked on the other girl. Finally, she shifted and her mouth opened, "They were…happy. Mom was a little strict, but they…_we_ were happy. Two parents and a brother, that was it."

When she stopped again, Ashley prodded gently, "What was his name?"

"…my brother was Glen." Something lit in the back of Ashley's brain, a sense that she knew that name, but it passed quickly.

"What happened to them?"

"…_it_ happened," she spit the words out, "the War." Ashley nodded, familiar with the affect the War had had on everyone.

"I understand."

--

_There is no Ashley. There is no house, bullets flying everywhere. There is no war torn country. There is no world._

_Because Kyla is dead in her arms, and Ashley thinks there is something essential, something needed in her heart, not there. It doesn't work anymore. _

_Only, it does, because she's still here, she's still moving, she's still breathing, she's still beating, she's still wishing it were over, she's still dying inside, she's still…_

_"Ashley!" Through watery eyes, she sees Jess in the doorway, a nasty gash across her forehead. _

_"Jess." Her voice is hoarse and strained and a broken sob forms in the middle of the word. _

_"We gotta get out of here, we have to go. You can't stay here…" she steps into the room, stumbling slightly and clutching her head. A little blood leaks through her hand. "Is that Kyla?" It's obvious who it is, Ashley thinks, why would she ask?_

_She answers anyway, "Yes."_

_"Oh God," she drops to her knees next to the girl. "Kyla…" Jess' hand hovers over Kyla's body for a second before dropping toward her hair, to brush it back._

_"Don't touch her!" _

_"Ashley…" Her hand changes course to touch Ashley's shoulder, but she flinches away, rocking Kyla's body in her arms like a rag doll._

_"No! Don't touch anything," she shouts, eyes wild._

_"Ash', we…," a deep breath, "we have to go."_

_Ashley ignores her. "I was supposed to protect her…her knight in…shining…shining…arm…" The words can't make it past the sobs that break through her mouth. She tries again, but is only able to whimper. In frustration, she stands, unconsciously letting her dead sister drop to the ground. Jess closes her eyes when the body flops down. They snap open when Ashley yells from across the room, throwing a picture into the opposite wall, shattering the glass. "Fuck!" _

_Ashley stares, her arms now limp, at the broken glass on the ground, obscuring an image of herself and Kyla, the little girl on her shoulders. She falls to the ground on her knees; gaze never leaving Kyla's smiling eyes. "I couldn't…"_

_"It's okay." Jess crawls over the ground cautiously. "It's okay, baby." She gathers the wailing girl into her arms, rocking her gently back and forth. "It'll all be okay…"_

_A bang sounds from outside the doorway and their heads snap up, looking at the masked men outside the room. They are dressed in dark uniforms, shadows playing over their bodies. The guns in their hands catch the light. _

_One man steps forward, ripping the mask from his face. His skin is sweaty and glistens in the low light as he moves up. With hair wild and eyes more so, he grins at the two girls on the floor. "What do we have here?" His voice betrays his age, making him suddenly look much younger and much less scary. The men chuckle behind him. _

_Ashley's eyes narrow and she stiffens in Jess' embrace. "Get the fuck out of here." Her voice is low, deadly. The men don't seem fazed. _

"_I don't think we will. This is just getting fun." _

_Jess can feel Ashley's muscles tensing, preparing to pounce. She grips the girl's arms, whispering in her ear. "Don't, Ashley, just stay put."_

_Ashley replies through gritted teeth. "No." Then, before Jess can even react, she's off like a shot, diving at the man in front of them. _

_He doesn't move fast enough, catching the brunt of Ashley's attack with a loud 'oomph'. He falls into the wall with the girl wailing at him wildly. He shouts for help and for the 'crazy bitch' to get off him. His arms come up to defend himself, bringing his gun up also. With the girl attacking him, he doesn't have control over his finger, set over the trigger. _

_When it goes off, everyone stops. The men pause just inside the doorway, guns raised. Ashley stops her attack, breathing wildly. The man whimpers in pain in front of her._

_Jess collapses to the ground, a pool of blood forming. Ashley hears the thud and turns just in time to see her head hit the ground. She doesn't make a sound, moves only a step toward the wheezing girl on the floor. Her back is turned to the man she had attacked, and he moves to take advantage, but his buddies call him before he can do anything._

"_Aiden, we gotta get out of here! They're bombin' the place!" He looks at the girl one more time before exiting the room swiftly, running after his friends. _

_Ashley hears the shout, knows what's going to happen to her home, her family. But she doesn't care. They're all dead – Kyla, Jess, her father – and Ashley doesn't know quite what to do. Maybe…she looks to the dresser drawer where she keeps a gun for emergencies. She crosses the room and opens the door, rifling through it desperately before pulling the cold gun out. _

_Just as she lifts it to her head, finger over the trigger, an explosion rocks to the house and she falls, losing her grip on the gun and throwing it into a corner of the room. Another explosion sends the house quaking once again, nearer this time and Ashley looks around wildly, searching for an exit. She dashes to the doorway, running out into the hall and down the stairs as fast as she can with the house shaking from multiple explosions. She wrenches the front door open and sprints to the woods, taking cover under the dense brush._

_She watches from the forest as her home, and her family, goes up in flames. _

--

"My family died in the War," Ashley whispers, just loud enough for Spencer to hear. Her guitar is forgotten on the ground. Spencer remains silent, unsure what to say. Ashley looks away, blinking her eyes rapidly with a deep frown. She roughly wipes her eyes and hits her thigh with her fist abruptly, making the other girl flinch. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

A minute passes without a word. When Ashley looks back at Spencer, her brown boring into blue with a startling intensity, her eyes are dry and her expression is hard. She grins, but even Ashley knows it's fake.

"_Love you Ash'!"_


	5. VI

Thank you so much, all those who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter.

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

VI.

_oh trouble can't you see, you're eating my heart away and there's nothing much left for me_

The discussion the night before had left an impenetrable silence in its wake. Both girls went to bed (or, what served as a sort of bed) soon after that, Ashley refusing to take the blankets once again. She heard Spencer's light snores mixing with Madison's soon after, but Ashley's sleep was fitful, thoughts of her not-so-far-away past flooding her head. Really, it had only been two years since that day.

But so much had happened in between that time and the present. After that day, Ashley ran as far as she could get, picking up food and shelter with families along the way. People affected by the War were more than happy to help a young girl in need of assistance.

She played up the charm, just in case.

She didn't have a spare moment to contemplate her vast losses and she didn't mind that fact one bit. Survival held precedence over dwelling.

Even though, she still thought of it every once in awhile, like last night, and she found that it affected her almost as much as it had the night it happened – the memories were fresh and distressing. Anger welled up as she remembered her show of vulnerability the other night. She is strong, she's _Ashley_ _Davies_. Ashley Davies does not cry.

Spencer wakes a little after the sun rises, with a soft sigh and a lazy stretch. Ashley watches from her spot on the ground, arms folded behind her head. Her arms are pimpled with goosebumps; it is a cold morning.

The blonde opens her eyes slowly, sits up, and looks to the other girl blearily. They look at each other for several moments. Ashley's stare is hard and unflinching. She seems to be looking for something in Spencer's eyes, searching them closely. When Spencer looks down with a small smile, tucking a lock of unruly hair behind her ear, Ashley blinks as if coming out of a trance.

When Spencer lifted her eyes, Ashley was already standing and picking up her jacket and shaking it out to remove any dirt. The blue-eyed girl stood, too, folding her blankets carefully. As she was folding the last one, a tan hand brushed against hers, taking hold of the blanket. The two girls folded the blanket in silence. When it was finished, Ashley gave her a small smile and turned to the fire pit they had set up the night before, starting a fire to cook breakfast. Madison was still curled in a ball on the ground, snoring heavily.

Spencer decides to break the silence first, as it stretches thin with time. "About last night…"

Ashley set down the stick she was using to poke the logs with a sigh, "Let's not, Spencer. I…it happened, OK? Now it's done, and I don't need to…I don't need to talk about it."

"I just…"

"No. This is where the conversation ends. Right here." Ashley's tone was final, resolved. Spencer was almost frightened of the edge in it. She nodded and Ashley reciprocated, frown still set on her face. She resumed her work on the fire and Spencer walked over to Madison to wake her up, suddenly in need of a buffer between her and Ashley.

The other girl woke after several tries, grudgingly, and she began to help Ashley with the morning routine. Spencer stood back, once again, but, this time, Ashley offered no reassurances. She mostly ignored the blonde girl, avoiding speaking to her or even looking at her. Madison noticed the change, but, for all her brashness, she didn't comment on it.

When they set off again, Madison carried the load Spencer had previously, giving the other girl a much lighter weight. They made good time, despite Spencer's obviousness soreness from the long journey the day before, and they had traveled a great distance before settling in for the night. Ashley, still in a sullen mood, did not pull out the guitar that night, and each went to bed early after sitting in uncomfortable silence for several long minutes.

--

Ashley woke late in the night, after the fire had burned itself down and the sky had filled with stars. She couldn't figure out why she had woken for several moments, before she heard a sound. To her finely tuned ears (trained from years of running), it sounded like a shuffling of feet. She let her instincts take her, grabbing her gun in a strong grip and pushing herself up in a crouched position. She snuck over to Madison, who got the picture quickly and readied her own firearm.

Spencer was a little more of a problem. Ashley shook her gently with her gun-free hand. The blonde managed a noisy stretch and a loud "Wha?" before Ashley clamped a hand over her mouth and dragged her into a sitting position.

"We gotta go," Ashley hissed urgently in the blonde's ear. Madison had already gathered the essential things they needed in a pack. She was gesturing impatiently for them to go. Ashley nodded and dragged the dazed Spencer along as they headed towards the forest.

The blonde had trouble keeping up with their hurried pace, still not fully awake and not used to having to respond to a situation so quickly. Ashley's firm grip on her arm was the only thing keeping her upright. And it didn't quite do its job.

Spencer's foot caught on a branch and Ashley, not expecting the firm tug, lost her hold. The blonde went flying, letting out a loud cry that pierced the night. All the girls froze as loud footsteps could be heard heading towards them.

"Fuck," Madison hissed, panic flooding her eyes. She looked to Ashley for guidance. She stood stock still for several moments before her gaze hardened and she wrenched the blonde girl up by her arm, without care for any pain she caused the other girl.

"Hide," she whispered urgently. Madison complied and they ducked behind a group of bushes, Ashley pushing Spencer in beside them roughly.

The shrubbery was thick; Ashley could barely make out anything through the thick leaves. She caught glimpses of feet and legs as a group of men in dark uniforms, masks obscuring their faces, rush through the spot they just vacated. There are shouts and questions about their whereabouts as their boots stamp the ground, making loud noises carelessly.

Spencer makes a squeaking noise as one foot crashes down a mere foot away from their location, but Ashley clamps her hand over the other girl's hand violently once again, cutting off the sound.

The girls stay put for several minutes after the sounds fade away. Ashley's knees are becoming painful from staying in the same crouched position for so long. Spencer feels something slither past her foot, but Ashley's restricting palm stops any noise from escaping. She fidgets slightly and Ashley gives her a menacing look, making her stop abruptly.

Ashley peers around the area slowly, looking out for any remaining seekers. She stands when she doesn't find any. Spencer goes to follow, but Madison tugs her back down with a whispered "Don't!"

Ashley sets off towards their camp site at a quick pace, feet silent against the forest floor. They wait for a few minutes before Ashley returns, arms empty and expression grim. She speaks in low tones, still weary of stragglers "They destroyed everything, all our supplies." She doesn't mention it, but Madison knows the guitar is the greatest loss in Ashley's eyes. "What've we got left?" The other girl's sad look is all Ashley needs to know the answer. She had grabbed all she could, but all it consisted of was a few clothes, and some food supplies.

Ashley sits down heavily, drawing her knees up to her chest and letting her head fall onto them. "Fuck." It's all she needs to say.


	6. VII

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

VII.

_this is how you remind me of what I really am_

Spencer falls asleep to drawn faces and hard, brown eyes. She wakes up to warm arms wrapped around her and a hard body behind her. A pair of jean-clad legs surround her. There is a worn spot at the knee, tan skin peeking through the fibers. It's as the blonde wakes up that she becomes aware of several things. First, she feels the steady back and forth motion of the person's breathing. Then, she becomes aware of hard muscles in the arms encompassing her. It's only when she opens her eyes and sees a stray lock of curly hair from the body behind that she realizes her companion is Ashley.

Really, she should've known sooner.

Her body tenses at the realization, aware of Ashley's barely hidden animosity towards her ever since their conversation that night and also of the new circumstances. Their situation is even bleaker than it had been as they are faced with the abrupt loss in supplies and also in moral. Spencer may not understand their specific position completely, but she understands how much life can wear on you. These girls are reaching the breaking point.

Spencer's not quite sure how she got in the position she had woken in, but she decides not to question it. She shifts forward, easing Ashley's grip away from her and rising slowly. The other girl grunts and makes small noises of annoyance, but she stays sleeping. She brushes herself off with her hands, pieces of dirt clinging to her (_Ashley's_) worn clothes. Madison is sleeping curled up on the ground and Ashley is still in the same position she was, leaning up against a tree with her knees drawn up. The only thing missing is Spencer's body in between them.

The only waking girl sits down again, against a tree, and she watches as the other girls stir, murmuring and blinking slightly as they rouse. Ashley is the first one to wake fully, her eyes filled with some odd, quivering emotion as they peer into Spencer's, several feet away from her. Madison's eyes open a minute later. She blinks confusedly at the two girls for several seconds before her eyes narrow, recognition coming into them.

Their situation is dire and Madison has had enough. Her fiery temper came to the surface as she watched this perfect girl looking at Ashley (_her _Ashley). "This is all your _fault_," she hissed through clenched teeth. Both girls look to her in surprise, not realizing she had woke up. "We were fine before you. Now _everything _is ruined!" Her voice escalated as she went on.

Spencer shrank back against the tree behind her, bark scratching the soft skin of her lower back. Ashley's eyes remained unreadable, but a flicker of guilt flashed through them.

"I'm sorr…"

"No! You don't _get _to be sorry. You don't get to be _anything_. Not to me and not to Ashley. Why couldn't you just leave us alone?" Madison stood angrily, bearing down on the other girl. Her eyes were full of fire and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides.

Ashley watched the exchange, eyes narrowing as it continued. As Madison yelled, something sparked within her, something she had long ago forgotten. When the other girl raised her arm to strike the cowering blonde with tears in her eyes, Ashley was up like a shot, making her way to Madison and gripping her forearm with inhuman speed. The raging Latina looked up, shocked by the interruption. "Ash…?"

--

"_Ashley!" The cry pierces through the quiet night, waking Ashley instantly. She jumps up, throwing the covers off her naked body. She yanks on some sweatpants and a white t-shirt as Jess mumbles into a pillow, still asleep. Another shout comes from the direction of Kyla's room this time cut off as all Ashley hears is "Ash…!" _

_She wrenches the door open and sprints down the hall, messy hair flying behind her. When she reaches her sister's door, she doesn't bother to knock, turning the handle. It doesn't budge, locked. She pounds on the door, yelling for Kyla to open it. Her knocks go unheeded for a minute and, by the time it opens, she has thrown her shoulder against it so much that it aches horribly. Her father stands in the doorway, swaying slightly, holding the doorframe to stay upright._

_Ashley steps back, startled by his appearance. "Dad?"_

"_Hi honey." He grins drunkenly._

"_Ashley?" A small voice calls from inside the room. Ashley pushes her father aside, making him stumble and almost fall, and goes to the little girl sitting curled up in a corner of the room. Her sleeping tee is torn slightly at the collar, a piece of fabric hanging down and exposing marks on her soft skin. Tears stream down her face, leaving little tracks. _

_Ashley picks up the whimpering girl without hesitation and her sister buries her face in Ashley's neck. She can feel the wetness on her skin as she turns back to her father, still standing by the door. "What happened?" Her eyes were hard, cutting into the obviously tipsy man. _

"_Wha? Nothin' happened. She was jus' sittin' there when I came'n." _

"_Tha's not true." A tiny voice mumbled into Ashley's neck. _

_She looked down and pulled her little sister's head away from her skin, tucking a stray piece of hair back with her free hand as the other supported the slight weight. "What honey?" _

"_I said, that's not true." She wiped wet eyes with the back of her hands. "I was sleepin' when Daddy came in here."_

"_Hey, you shuddup, you little liar!" Raife yelled, stepping forward. _

"_Kyla, stay behind me," Ashley muttered in her sister's ear as she set the girl down. She stepped in front of her and faced her drunken father with a fierce glare. "What'd you do to her, dad?"_

"_Nothin', how many times I gotta fuckin' …," he closes his eyes, swallowing hard as he sways unsteadily, "how many times I gotta say it?" _

"_Maybe 'til I believe you." _

"_I didn' touch tha' little b-bitch."_

"_But daddy…" Kyla peers out from behind Ashley's back._

"_You shuddup!" He points a menacing finger at the little girl cowering behind Ashley. She shrank back once again, whimpering slightly. _

"_Get out of here." Ashley's voice is low, menacing and her father looks up in surprise, attention diverted from the littler girl behind his older daughter. _

"_Honey…"_

"_Just get out, dad," she spits out the word, like poison, "before I make you get out." He remains for a few more seconds, staring at his daughter like she had gone crazy. Eventually, he decided it wasn't worth fighting about and left the room, tilting dangerously as he traveled down the hall, muttering obscenities under his breathe._

_Ashley's shoulders visibly relaxed as the man stumbled out of the room. She turned and crouched down to talk to her little sister, who looked a hundred times calmer now that her father was gone. "Are you alright, baby?" Kyla nodded, eyes still full of fright. "OK, let's get you to bed." _

_She picked the little girl up and, after taking her to the adjoining bathroom to clean her up a bit and giving her a clean shirt to wear (one she recognized as one of her own), she put her in bed. She tucked her in and kissed the little girl's forehead, lingering for a second. _

_When she turned to leave, her little sister called out to her, voice frightened. _

"_Yeah, Kyla?"_

"_Stay with me? Please." Ashley smiled warmly and nodded, slipping in beside her little sister and taking her into her arms. _

"_Now go to sleep, Kye." She did, slowly. But Ashley remained awake through the night, watching the door intently. Her father didn't return that night, he usually didn't._

_Jess found her early in the morning, giving her an understanding smile as she opened the door and found her lover. Ashley slid out of the bed, careful not to disturb her sister. She went to the other girl's side, giving her an apologetic look and a warm kiss. _

"_It happened again?" Ashley nodded and Jess sighed. _

_They left the room and went back to their own bedroom. Ashley removed her clothes and slipped under the covers, pulling her girl close. Jess sighed and relaxed into Ashley's strong arms. _

_A few moments after they settled, Ashley spoke. "It won't happen again, Jess. I won't let it."_

_Jess stared at the wall, refusing to look back into Ashley's eyes. She was afraid of what she would find there. "I know."_

--

"Don't you fucking dare, Madison." The girl looked into Ashley's eyes with fear, catching her breathe as Ashley's grip tightened painfully.

"But Ashley, this little bitch…"

Ashley left no room for interruption, "Just leave her alone." She flung the other girl away, crouching down and regarding the girl trembling on the ground.

But Madison didn't stop. "What's your fucking problem? You should be right beside me. She ruined everything!"

But Ashley didn't budge, and a hard note came into her voice. Not many could argue with the fierce edge in it. "I said stop. I won't tell you again." But Madison didn't heed the other girl's warning, continuing with her rant.

"Fuck you, I'm not gonna stop this time. She needs to go, Ash'."

"I said stop!" Ashley stood, anger seeping from her pores as her fists clenched. Madison ignored her reaction.

"You've got a soft spot for that bitch and I don't know why, but she doesn't belong here. She's just a fucking nuisance. I want her…" She didn't finish her sentence – couldn't – as a fist flew out and hit her across the face. She stumbled back with a cry and tripped over her own feet, falling on her ass. She clutched the injured part of her head, tears springing to her eyes at the stinging pain.

"I told you to stop." Her voice was deadly. Madison's eyes were wide with fear, Spencer's too. Both girls shrank back from the livid girl before them, but Ashley seemed to calm as seconds passed and no one spoke. Her shoulder's dropped, fists loosening.

"Fuck…I-I'm sorry, Mads. I don't…I don't know what happened." Madison relaxed slightly, but she wasn't sure. "Ah…c'mon, let's get out of here." She grinned and picked up the only remaining pack. She began walking.

When the other girls didn't follow, she turned back with a broad smile. "You comin'?"


	7. VIII

Here is the last of the updates before I go on a trip for a few days. I absolutely love the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

VIII.

_sixteen: I fell in love with a girl as sweet as can be_

There's a speck of dirt on Ashley's palm. She rubs at it furiously, leaving a red patch on her skin, but it's still there. She sighs with frustration and lets the hand drop, shifting the weight of the pack over her shoulder.

"Ash'?" Madison comes up behind her, cautious. Spencer stays several feet behind the girls, silent and repentant.

Ashley turns her head, eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"

"I think…I think we need to talk."

"About what?" Ashley acts like she's oblivious, and it would almost work for anyone who didn't know her like Madison. She had seen too many walls drop to let them deceive her now.

"Don't do that."

Ashley sighs. "Let's just drop it, 'k? There's nothin' to talk about."

"I think there's a lot to talk about." Madison is relentless, something Ashley both hates and loves about her.

"Well, you're wrong." Ashley is stubborn, something Madison both hates and loves about her.

"Jesus, Ash', are we ever going to say _anything_ about your past, or are we just going to ignore it forever?"

"Ignore it." Her reply is short, clipped. A hint of a grin starts at the corners of her mouth.

Madison shakes her head, forcing her own smile back, "You're such a bitch."

"Fuck you." She smirks openly, shoving the other girl lightly. Madison stumbles and laughs. The twisted, bright mood stays for several minutes, and they walk side by side with light steps. But Madison always has to ruin everything, or so Ashley thinks.

"We still have to talk."

"Don't wanna." Ashley's voice is small, petulant.

"Stop being stupid." Madison always gets tired of Ashley's games, at some point.

"Can't we just leave it alone, Mads? Please?" She sounds like such a child; it makes Ashley's blood boil at her own juvenile behavior. There is no room for children in the world of the New Regime.

"What's so bad about it?"

"Everything." It's said in a whisper; Madison can barely hear it. "We were OK and then…fuck, everything just went to shit." She glanced back at Spencer, who was looking at the ground, oblivious to the serious nature of their conversation. "I…I miss them, Mads. I miss them _so much_."

"I know. I miss my family, too." There is silence for several minutes, both war-hardened girls lost in a thousand memories of people they would never see again. "What were they like?"

"We were…OK. And then we weren't, for awhile. But we were always a family, one way or another. The War…it changed things. I don't think my dad knew how to deal."

"And your sister?" From the little Ashley had revealed to her in the years that they had known each other, Madison knew who the basic members were. But Ashley didn't say much else about them.

"She was…amazing. I mean, she never let it bother her. She kept me from losing it completely. She was the only person besides…"

"…Jess?" Ashley had talked even less about her dead girlfriend than she had about other family members.

Ashley spent a few moments to collect herself and fell into her story, tripping over the words slightly, "I remember thinking 'That girl is the most beautiful person I've ever seen.' when I first met her. She was working in the house, helping our maid out. I was…not too nice a kid before her. I really think she saved me.

"God, I wanted to fuck her so bad when I laid eyes on her for the first time. She had long, dark hair and these huge green eyes. And man, she had curves. But she wasn't about to give in to me." Ashley grinned, reminiscing. "I pursued her for months before she would even let me take her out on a date. Then, when I dropped her off and leaned in for that devastating kiss of mine…," Ashley wiggled her eyebrows playfully and Madison laughed dutifully, but she could see the pain behind the action, "…she totally blocked me, actually put a hand in front of my face. I was totally embarrassed and fucking _pissed off_. Didn't talk to anyone for a week.

"Then, I saw her at the mansion again. It was this absolutely beautiful summer day, a soft breeze moving the curtains. Kyla was outside and I could hear her laughing through the open window." For some reason, this hit a note with Madison. She glanced back to the still solemn blonde behind them. "Then, I went up to her and said 'I'm a bitch, I'm spoiled, I love sex, but I hate people and I especially hate dealing with them…yet, still, I like you'. It was the dumbest, most unsure thing I've ever said, but it worked. A year later, she was living with us and we were happy. For the most part."

"The War changed everything," Madison murmured.

Ashley looked away, blinking wetness away. "Yeah."

--

They set up camp later that day, both girls working in silent comfort. Spencer stood out of the way, as per usual.

As they all sat down to eat their meager meal, Ashley spoke. "We'll figure things out." Her voice was quiet and hoarse, but sure. "All of us. You included, Spencer. You're part of this now, no matter what you do."

Madison swallowed and cleared her throat, drawing both girls' attention. "I'm sorry, Spence'. You didn't deserve me blowing up on you."

"No, I'm sor…"

"It's done. You don't need to apologize." Ashley's tone was firm and Spencer let her mouth close, sentence unfinished.

"I really am sorry, though." For some unknown reason, Spencer seemed to need it, to tell them this.

"We know."

--

"_I'm sorry." Ashley hasn't said these words more than ten times since she was five. They feel odd in her mouth, lips stumbling over them._

"_You don't need to apologize. It's just who you are, Ashley. I shouldn't expect more from you." Jess is inexplicably beautiful to Ashley in this moment: hair tangled, clothes messy, and eyes full of a something that she's never seen before. She wants to see it again._

"_I want you to expect things from me; I want to be those things." She pauses for a moment, emotions surging in her throat. "I want you, Jess." _

"_You can do that all you want; you'll have to work to get this prize." Her grin turns mischievous and enticing, green eyes sparkling with lingering wetness._

"_I'm willing." Ashley's smile is just as wide._

_--_

"_Go to sleep, Ashley," Jess mutters from underneath a pillow. She can feel a pair of eyes on her from the other side of the bed, a prickling feeling in her skull. A beam of sunlight comes into the room through a crack in the shades, illuminating the untidy room. _

"_Don't wanna." _

_One green eye peers out behind the white pillow and a mess of dark hair. "What are you so excited about?"_

"_You. I'm always excited about you being here, with me." _

_She shakes her head, rolls her eyes and buries her head below the pillow once again. A few seconds pass. She turns back over to see Ashley (still smiling, still almost giddy with excitement) and she allows a slow smile to form as the other girl leans over to lay a sweet kiss on her lips. It tastes like love._


	8. IX

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

IX.

_so I put my arms around you (around you) and I hope that I will do no wrong_

Routine often becomes a part of Ashley and Madison's life; Spencer's also, now. It had done so, once again, and the girls endure the monotone with weeks of tense muscles and thin-lipped smiles. Ashley, especially, doesn't deal well with every-day-the-same kind of life, and her frustration escapes in small ways – a hard, far away look in her eyes (barely there for a second), a deep frown (accompanied by furrowed eyebrows that crease the skin between them), a piece of clothing thrown a little too forcefully into the pack.

Ashley has always been a little frayed around the edges, but more strings unwind every day now. She too wild to be contained in habit and schedule; she needs freedom and life.

Madison never knows what to say, stays silent for the most part. Spencer does the same, for different reasons. It doesn't really matter why, only that things were becoming too volatile, too unstable. Everyone could see, but no one wanted to stop it.

The fire was strong, blazing. Madison was dozing on the ground in her blankets and Ashley was sitting on a log, agitated, tapping her fingers against her knees in lieu of an instrument to play. The digits itched for strings and wood. Spencer was silent, as usual, and Ashley was annoyed at the lack of sound. She needed something to fill the spaces.

In the place of noise came thoughts. Ashley couldn't remember the last time she had thought so much about her past; in the last few weeks, she'd done it so much that her chest ached constantly from the forgotten pain.

There was a flash of green eyes and then a burst of emotion so strong that it sent her to her feet, panting slightly. Spencer looked up from her seat a few feet away and looked at her questioningly. Ashley shook her head to clear it, sighed, and looked into the fire for a second.

"I'm going for a walk." It was pitch black in the woods surrounding the fire. But she stepped forward anyway, eyes hard but wavering. Spencer watched as she disappeared into the night. Madison let out a sleepy snore and blue eyes closed to the strong figure moving away from her.

Ashley makes it a few feet away from the light of the fire before she falls to her knees, a sob escaping. She lets the tears fall down her cheeks, leaving trails of memories flowing out of her body. She can hear a laugh, see a smile, feel the love permeating her skin. She hasn't allowed herself to think about her in so long that it shocks her system to have all of it explode like this, all at once. Her head falls down to her knees as her body is filled with shakes and tremors.

Then, there is warmth and arms pulling her close. She lays her head in the person's lap, sobs still wracking her body. A gentle hand strokes her hair and a voice murmurs words of comfort that barely penetrate her grief-filled fog.

Minutes later, she looks up, expecting dark hair and sympathetic eyes. In reality, she only gets one of those. Above her is a girl with blonde hair – barely visible in the minimal light – and blue eyes that look down on her compassionately.

"Hey." Spencer whispers from above her. Ashley doesn't say anything. She rolls to her other side, facing the other girl and burrows into the warmth, nose rubbing against the fabric over a soft stomach.

"I'm sorry," Ashley murmurs after minutes of no movement but Spencer's hand stroking back and forth over Ashley's head. Neither girl is sure what Ashley is apologizing for, _who_ she is apologizing to.

"I know."

"I loved her so much. I still do." Her voice is broken, a weak sob breaking through. Spencer doesn't know the story behind the words, only knows the pain – it fills every word the other girl says.

"I know." It's all she needs to say, all she _knows_ to say. Ashley doesn't want anything more.

It's maybe hours, maybe minutes, maybe seconds later that both girl untangle and stand. Spencer pulls the broken girl into her arms and holds her tight, allowing Ashley to fall against her feebly. A dark-haired head falls against her shoulder and she can feel wetness through her clothing. They stand like that as long as it takes for the tears to stop and for Ashley to collect herself.

When they return to the haphazard camp, Madison is still sleeping, snoring lightly. Spencer gathers the ratty blankets she had been using for the last few nights, after finding them in an abandoned campsite, and she lays them down on the ground to make her bed. She keeps one in her hand and she pulls the still quiet Ashley with her as she lies down. She throws the thin blanket over both of them and she tugs the other girl to her as she settles back. The other girl curls against her readily.

Ashley falls asleep with her head on Spencer's shoulder – blonde hair itching her nose – and her leg over Spencer's. She sleeps soundly for the first time in many weeks as Spencer stays awake and keeps guard over the other girl.

--

Ashley wakes up as the morning sun hits her, in much the same position she fell asleep in. Spencer's eyes were closed and her hair fell around her head messily. Ashley stretched – careful not to wake the other girl – and closed her eyes tightly, feeling the pull of sore muscles. The other girl's body was warm against hers and she contemplated staying where she was. Eventually, she resisted the temptation and rose.

Madison awoke as she was fixing a paltry breakfast, rubbing her eyes as she took a seat next to Ashley.

"Good morning." Her voice was bright and awake, annoying the still-sleepy Madison to a great degree.

After the Latina had eaten her breakfast and woken up some, she noticed her companion's bright mood. "How are you doin' today?"

"Good. I'm doing good." It was the truth and, to Madison's surprise, you could see that.

The two girls sat in companionable silence until the other group member woke up. She stepped over and stood above them uncomfortably – she never quite felt like she belonged at the beginning of each day.

"Mornin'." Ashley was the first to speak, unusually.

Spencer smiled shyly and sat down, picking up her food. "Morning."

--

_Jess falls against her as they dance, her arms wrapped tightly around Ashley, head resting on her shoulder. The curly-haired girl revels in the feeling, holding this girl to her as they sway to the soft music coming from the speakers all around them. _

_They had been sitting on the couch in the living room, enjoying a quiet time of relaxation after the elaborate dinner that Ashley had prepared for one of their dates. _

_Suddenly, Ashley had stood, eyes – illuminated by candlelight – shining, and asked the other girl to dance. Jess had taken her hand and was suddenly pulled into the warmth of Ashley's body. Both settled into each other comfortably. _

_Now, as they moved slowly to the beat, Ashley could feel her heart filling, could hear it beating in sync with another's. The sensation was foreign, unusual to her young body, but she took it in with happiness. This emotion called love. _

_Then, Ashley pulled away, looking into deep green eyes that stared back with confusion. She smiled and raised a hand to Jess's cheek, stroking the soft skin with her thumb. _

_"I love you." _

_Jess stood in shock for several moments before she replied, causing a sinking feeling of uncertainty in Ashley. But, finally, her mouth opened, "I could love you." It was a whisper, and not quite what Ashley had wanted, had expected. But she took it and pulled the other girl close once again. _

_They pulled apart many minutes later and Jess gathered her things. She stood uncertainly by the door, jacket and purse in hand. Ashley leaned in and met Jess' lips for a sweet kiss, conveying the very love she had expressed that evening. As their lips parted, Jess sighed, "I love you."_

_Ashley smiled softly and kissed her once again, tenderly. "Goodnight." She opened the door to the fresh night air. The stars twinkled brightly. _

_Jess stepped outside, her own mouth stretched into a dreamy grin, "Goodbye."_


	9. X

I've been very busy with school and work, but I found time to update. Thank you for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this update.

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

X.

_and if I promise to listen, would you please tell me again_

As the girls neared their destination – a refuge in much the same pattern as the Underground, where they could stock up on supplies – the air around the group became much more pleasant. Ashley had become almost cheery in the wake of her breakdown that night over two weeks ago.

Every since that night, she and Spencer had found a new sleeping arrangement. Each night, the blonde set up her "bed" the same way she usually did and crawled in. Then, seconds, minutes, maybe an hour later, the curly-haired girl would crawl in next to her. The positions changed with the day – sometimes Ashley would fall asleep with her head on Spencer's shoulder, other times she would find herself holding Spencer from behind as they lay on their sides. She liked those nights most, with her arm around the other girl and another body so close and so warm.

They didn't talk about their arrangement, barely acknowledged it, but they both drew comfort from the closeness of another human being. Madison knew about it, had seen them together on those few mornings when she was the first to wake. She didn't say anything – she even seemed to approve, in her own way.

One night, as they came even closer to supplies and refuge of sorts, the routine was shaken. Ashley had stayed up the majority of the night before, wary of sounds she heard in the underbrush. It turned out to be some wild animals that stayed well clear of their camp, but the brunette was still lacking for any rest and she barely functioned long enough to set up camp for the night before she was dozing against a log.

Madison nudged her awake, kneeling in front of the worn out girl. Ashley looked at her, confused. "Go to sleep, Ash'." Brown eyes glanced to the blonde sitting on a log several feet away. "Your girl'll be there soon. Now go." Ashley grinned sheepishly at being discovered looking at Spencer. She stood slowly, yawning widely as she fished the blankets out of the pack. She set up her sleeping area unevenly and sank down, going to sleep within seconds.

Both of the girls that were still awake looked at the exhausted girl as she did this, soft smiles on their faces.

"She's cute when she's too tired to act all tough," Spencer murmured, blushing. The girl in question grunted in her sleep and turned over. Madison nodded and furrowed her eyebrows thoughtfully. She was silent for several moments.

"You hurt her, and I'll kill you."

Spencer looked to the other girl in surprise, stuttering out a response as Madison stared at her with a hard expression, "Oh, y-yeah, w-well I don-don't plan to d-do any..." She took a deep, steadying breath, "I don't want to hurt her."

"It's not what you want, it's what you'll do." Madison's emerald eyes seemed to stab into the blonde and she squirmed under the attention. "She doesn't deserve any more pain."

Spencer nodded shakily, unable to open her mouth to say anything. A few seconds later, Madison nods firmly and looks away, into the fire. Silence descends. Spencer glances over at the blanket-covered lump that is Ashley, timidly. The Latina across from her sighs.

"You can go to sleep now, if you want." Blue eyes shot up from their place, anywhere but the curly-haired girl on the ground.

"What? Oh, well I am a l-little…"

"Just go." She nodded and jerked up, walking apprehensively to the sleeping girl on the ground. She crouched down next to Ashley and nudged her, careful not to startle her too much and have the other girl attack her, especially with a gun in reach. The dark-haired girl edged out from under the covers at the insistent prodding, looking at the blonde blearily. Spencer smiled softly at her and Ashley woke up some.

"Are you gonna let me in?" The blonde's smile turned playful. Ashley grunted and moved back, holding the covers up for the other girl to enter the warmth. Spencer crawls in and settles against her companion. They find their position for the night as Ashley lies back and Spencer curls up against her, head on the brunette's shoulder.

They are comfortable and happier than either girl would admit to being, but neither girl falls asleep. Even Ashley, who hadn't gotten a ton of rest and was still fairly exhausted, stayed awake. They breathed in unison and Ashley felt Spencer's warm breaths against her neck. Both girls listened as Madison went to bed also, and then they lay in the silence that remained after she had fallen asleep.

Ashley shifted slightly under the girl above her and sighed. When the silence was broken by her husky voice, Spencer jumped slightly (both at the sound and the rumble that went through the other girl's chest, under her cheek). "You know, I used to have a sister who had eyes like yours."

Spencer was slightly confused by the unexpected admittance, but she was happy to have any information about Ashley. She gently urged the girl to continue. "Yeah?"

"Mmm, her name was Kyla."

"What was she like?" Spencer looked up and saw Ashley grin, eyes fixed on the stars above her.

"She was so happy, had the brightest smile I've ever seen. Used t' brighten my day with just that smile. I had the most fun when she was there, just running and playing around with her.

"She was nine years younger than me, only eight when she...," she swallowed roughly, "…when she died."

"I'm sorry, Ashley." Spencer lay a comforting hand on Ashley's shoulder, propping herself up on an elbow to lean over her. The other girl shook her head, gulping back tears.

"I miss her so much sometimes – her laugh, her joy. She loved life, spent every minute living it. I wish I was like that." A pause. "I wish I _could_ be like that, for her. I can't." Her voice broke slightly on the last word. "I want to be so much, Spencer. Why can't I be like that?" She looked into blue eyes pleadingly, brown eyes about to break with tears.

Spencer stroked a tan cheek with her thumb, shaking her head sadly. "Not many people can be like that; very few have the strength. But, I think you're honoring her memory just fine, doing what you're doing. You're one of the strongest people I've met, Ashley. Kyla would be proud."

"Yeah?" Ashley's voice was small, almost childlike.

"Yeah." Spencer smiled kindly.

Ashley sank back slowly, lazily, a soft smile crossing her lips. "Yeah."

--

The girls woke in the early hours of the morning, just as dawn was breaking. Ashley groaned and stretched as much as she could with a girl lying on top of her. Spencer, for her part, buried her face into the crook of Ashley's neck, refusing to wake up.

"Mmm…time to get up."

"No." Spencer pouted into tan skin; Ashley could feel her lips. Ashley nudged her with her shoulder repeatedly until she raised her head, sleepy frown in place. She propped herself over the darker girl, looking down at her blearily. "Why'd you do that?"

"You weren't getting up," she shrugged. Spencer's mouth flowed into a drowsy smile. Her blue eyes drifted lazily, falling on a set of moist lips – Ashley's, to be specific. Her eyebrows furrowed and her gaze didn't move. Ashley grew uncomfortable under the scrutiny.

Slowly – so slowly Ashley almost didn't realize it was happening – Spencer leant down and captured Ashley's lips with her own. It was soft and over almost before it started, just a mere brushing of their mouths. Spencer pulled back gradually and smiled softly. Ashley smiled back.

"That was nice."


	10. XI

Thanks for all the feedback. Hope you enjoy.

XI.

_alive with love, alive with love tonight_

A week passed – during which Ashley and Spencer had many more small, "nice" moments – and they finally arrived at their goal. Madison's eyes shone brightly as they scanned the crowded, dirty space. She clutched their list of needed supplies tightly in her hand as everyone around jostled her. She didn't seem to mind.

"It's beautiful!" The Latina exclaimed and rushed off into the multitude to find the things they needed. Ashley chuckled as she watched her leave, reaching for Spencer's hand and threading their fingers together.

"C'mon, let's shop around." Spencer laughed along and followed the gentle tug that the other girl gave to their joined hands.

People teemed from every alley, every opening, swarming the limited space. The blonde felt a burst of fear at the sheer number of people, all in one space and closing in on her, but it faded when Ashley squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring smile, a lock of curly hair in her eyes. She stepped closer to the strong girl and allowed her to lead her through the throng with the ease of experience.

They reached a vendor selling colorful clothes, some noticeably damaged. He beamed crookedly at the pretty girls holding hands and proceeded to try and sell everything he had, which turned out to be quite a few things. Spencer declined politely, well aware they had no money, but Ashley listened intently. She was examining a brightly-colored shirt closely when Spencer tugged her away, throwing the article of clothing back with an apologetic smile.

They find Madison again at a produce seller. She gazes hungrily at a fresh, deep red apple, not even noticing when the two girls come upon her. Ashley laughs at her expression, nudging her to get her attention. The Latina looks up, dazed for a moment before recognition comes into her eyes.

"Hey guys. I was just lookin' at the food."

Ashley grins mischievously, "The apples look good?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, real good." She gives a fleeting glance at the mouthwatering fruit that had held her attention previously. "What're you guys up to?"

"Just shopping around, you know." Ashley looks into the crowd for a second, searchingly. "Actually, I've got somethin' I've been wantin' to do. You wanna stay here an' help Mads out a little, Spence'?" It's not really a question, and the blonde knows enough to not take it as one. She nods and watched Ashley as she disappears into the crowd, heading away from them intently.

"Wonder what that was about," Madison says, thoughtfully, from behind her.

"I don't--," Spencer's eyebrows furrow, "I don't know."

--

Ashley catches Jim just as he's ducking into one of the many dark alleys that cover the place. She shouts his name as he strides through the crowd, sure it's him even though she's only seen the back of a gray, balding head and his clothing. He doesn't turn.

When she finally reaches him, she grabs his forearm and yanks him back slightly. He yelps and turns to her, eyes wild. She grins triumphantly when she sees his face, confirms his identity.

"Hey, Jim."

"Oh, hi Ashley!" He pulls her into a hug, obviously trying to hide his ignoring her earlier. "How are you?" He looks even more ragged than usual – dark circles under his eyes, bones protruding.

"I'm fine, good. We're just picking up some supplies before we head out again." She turns to the mass just outside the alley, searches for a moment, then turns back to the man standing nervously before her. "Madison and Spencer are--."

"Spencer?" His eyes widen and a hand comes up to play with the few wisps of hair that remain on his head. "Spencer's still with you?"

"Yeah," she says, slowly. "She's been with us for a long time now."

"Really? I just…I thought…" He trailed off, fingers clenching and unclenching on his balding head. Ashley's eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you have a problem with her?"

"What? No, no. She's…I don't…" Ashley had refused to blame Jim for what happened to Spencer in the Underground, when it first occurred. She didn't even want to think he had anything to with it, but his hesitance was setting off an alarm in her head.

She had to know. "You set up that attack, didn't you?" He flinched, closing his eyes in answer. "You're the reason she…" She couldn't find the words to express the total betrayal of this man, the person who had helped her get back on her feet after everything she loved and cherished was gone. It hurt so much it was almost hard to breathe. Her fist clenched tightly by the side of her leg.

"Don't you know who she is, Ashley?" he said, exasperated. "She's the enemy, she's--," his sentence was cut off by the arrival of the very blonde, blue-eyed girl they were talking about. She stepped out of the crowd and smiled upon seeing Ashley, grabbing her arm excitedly.

"Ashley, I found something I think you'll like!" She looks to the person Ashley was talking to and stiffens, smile dropping. Ashley can feel the blonde's grip tighten on the muscles in her arm. "Oh, hello." Jim nods, trying to force a smile, only managing a weak twitch of his lips.

When no one says anything, he sighs. "I think I'm gonna get goin'," he points a thumb down the alley where he was heading before. Ashley nods, but remains silent, as does Spencer, whose knuckles are white, gripping hard enough to leave a bruise on Ashley's tan skin.

"It was nice seeing you – both of you." He turns to leave and Ashley thinks about tearing away from Spencer, turning Jim by the shoulder and punching him till he bleeds. The thought passes. He disappears into the darkness and both girls visibly relax when he's out of sight.

"I'm sorry, Spencer." Ashley reaches down to grip Spencer's hand tightly in her own.

"It's done, now." They leave the alley and slip back into the crowd. Her former animated state returns. "I think you'll really like this, Ash'." She squeezes Ashley's hand and they head off to find the source of her excitement.

--

"This is awesome, Spence'!" Ashley holds the battered guitar reverentially. The girls had found it at a booth in the far corner, halfway in the shadows. She turns it, holds it as if she was going to play. Her thumb strums the strings lightly. "It's beautiful," she whispers.

--

"_OK, last one, make it count!" Ashley's fingers flew over the strings, bringing forth strong sounds. Kyla straightened from her place on the floor in front of Ashley. She wiggled excitedly, waiting for the moment. Jess smiled at her enthusiasm as she sat with her back against the armrest of the couch, feet against Ashley's thigh. Ashley nodded and grinned as Jess and Kyla began to sing. _

"_He goes wa wa, wa wa wa, waltzing with bears! Raggy bears, shaggy bears, baggy bears too! And there's nothing on earth Uncle Walter won't do! So he can go waltzing, wa wa wa waltzing. He can go waltzing, go waltzing with bears!" Ashley ended the song with a flourish; Jess and Kyla clapped excitedly, cheering for the performance._

"_Now it's time for bed little one." Ashley stood, leaning her guitar against he couch carefully. She picked up the whining little girl, starting for the stairs. "Stop your cryin', we'll have plenty more nights like this."_

_Kyla raised her head from her sister's shoulder, big blue eyes shining. "Promise?"_

"_I promise."_

--

"Ash'?" No response. "Ashley?" When she still got no response, Spencer whacked Ashley on the arm, surprising her. She looked to the other girl, confused.

"What?"

"I kind of lost you there."

"Oh, sorry, I was just…just daydreaming I guess." She looked to the guitar in her hands, almost as if she was shocked to find it there.

"It's OK. Do you like it?" Spencer lay a hand over Ashley's shoulder cautiously.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, it's great. Thank you, Spencer." She kissed the blonde on the cheek quickly, and then began inspecting her new instrument. Spencer stayed silent; she had traded her best blanket for the thing.

--

They headed to camp soon after that, laden down with the supplies Madison had managed to trade for. They made a fire quickly, as it was getting dark and, as soon as that was done and dinner was cooking on the fire, Ashley settled down with her new find.

She reveled in feeling an instrument in her hands again – it felt like so long since she last had. She strummed the strings lightly, playing different chords and notes with no specific song.

"Play something?" Ashley looked up, startled.

"Do you want me to?" Spencer nodded, smiling brightly, and Madison nodded grudgingly.

"OK…" She thought for a moment, then began to play a song. As she continued to play, each girl could hear her singing quietly. "My Uncle Walter goes dancing with bears…"


	11. XII

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

XII.

_there's a changing tide from the red horizon_

The stars stand out brightly against the pitch black sky. Ashley strokes Spencer's arm that lies over her stomach and it tightens, fingers curling into her hip. The blonde mumbles something into her shoulder, burrowing in further. Ashley smiles thoughtfully, looking into the night as if it might give her answers.

(_"She's the enemy"_)

It doesn't, and the only thing she hears is Spencer's whimper when Ashley pulls her even closer.

Jim's words have invaded her mind, set up a permanent residence alongside her thoughts. Part of her (a bigger part than she would ever admit, to Spencer or to herself) believes him, wants to know what he does. The other part of her just wants to beat him unconscious. Her fingers tighten slightly on Spencer's arm as she thinks this.

What did he mean? Why did he call her an enemy, _the_ enemy? From what she knows about Jim – which is, sadly, not much – he had been involved in the Old Regime army, high in command. He even claimed to have met her father at one point. If anyone would know who the enemy was and who wasn't, it would be him.

Ashley rolls her eyes; he was just a delusional old man. He had hurt Spencer and, therefore, could not be telling the truth. What kind of truthful person would hurt an angel like the blonde lying on top of her? As if responding to her thoughts, Spencer pulls her body in tighter, sliding a leg over Ashley's.

With a shaky conviction, the brunette closes her eyes to the winking stars and falls into a restless sleep.

--

_Ashley walks into her father's office, sees him sitting, grim-faced, behind his desk. She stands at the other side of the desk hesitantly. _

"_Dad?"_

"_The Carlins are attacking, Ashley. The War starts soon."_

"_But…"_

"_There's no avoiding this," he sighs deeply, looking at his oldest daughter sadly. "You'll stay here, but I have to go take care of matters in the Regime. Protect Kyla and Jess for me."_

_Ashley nods, shoulders heavy. "With my life, sir."_

--

When she wakes in the morning, Ashley is initially only aware of two things: the sun shining brightly over her face and soft hands stroking her hair. When she opens her eyes, she finds Spencer sitting above her, arm moving back and forth as she shifts her fingers through her curls. As twinkling blue eyes meet brown, Spencer smiles. And Ashley's confidence of the night before cements.

Spencer's hand stops moving, settling over her forehead. "Do you want some breakfast?"

Ashley thinks about it for a moment, feeling the warmth radiating from the sadly clothed thighs next to her abdomen. "Nah, I think I'll stay in bed a little longer." She grabs hold of Spencer's hand and yanks, catching the girl as she falls on top of her with surprise. "With you here, of course." Spencer's mouth forms into a soft smile as she leans down slowly.

Just as her lips meet Ashley's, a shout comes from the fire several feet away. "Get your lazy asses out of bed!" Madison holds up a plate of food, "I've got breakfast!"

Ashley groans and rolls her eyes as Spencer's head drops to her shoulder briefly before she rises. "Bitch!" she yells out to the girl eating by the fire.

"Puta!" Madison yells back.

Spencer laughs at their antics and gives Ashley a hand up. Ashley slips on her cargos over her boxers – she had taken to wearing fewer clothes as she fell asleep with Spencer next to her more – and grabs a seat on the log that Spencer had taken moments before. The blonde hands her a plate of food and Ashley digs in with vigor, happy to have a substantial amount of food to eat. Her stomach is appreciative.

As she munches, Ashley looks into the woods just outside their campsite thoughtfully. "We're close." Madison nods, silent.

"Close to where?" Spencer asks from next to Ashley, curious because of their sudden serious moods.

"Paradise," Ashley murmurs. Spencer's eyebrows furrow, confused.

When Ashley doesn't continue, Madison picks up the explanation. "It's a town, near the New Regime," neither girl notices the way Spencer flinches at the mention of the New Regime, "where survivors from the Old Regime can stay. Few know about it; we had to do a lot of convincing to make Jim tell us." Both notice way Ashley flinches at the mention of Jim, and the clenched fists that follow.

Spencer lays a placating hand on her shoulder and she relaxes some. "Sounds nice."

"You want to come?" Ashley's eyes look into hers pleadingly.

"I…I don't…"

"We'd really like it if you did, Spencer," Madison says from across the fire, looking at her with soft green eyes.

"OK." Spencer's reluctance fades as Ashley grins widely and sweeps her into her arms, kissing her soundly.

--

That night, as Madison snores on the ground a few feet away, Spencer and Ashley sit in front of the fire together, holding hands.

"We really need to get her checked out – that girl sleeps way too much." Spencer laughs – softly so as to not wake the sleeping girl – and nods.

"Or get some earplugs so we don't have to hear her snoring." Ashley chuckles with abandon, not as sensitive to the girl they were making fun of. Spencer's laugh gets louder as her companion continued to giggle helplessly. Then, suddenly, they aren't laughing but kissing.

And, in another abrupt move, they are standing, still attached at the lips, and making their way over to the blankets set up a few feet away. Spencer sinks back into the blankets and Ashley follows swiftly, settling over the other girl. As her thigh falls between Spencer's, the blonde pulls her into another slow kiss by a hand on the back of her neck.

They move together leisurely, rhythmically. Spencer gasps at the sensation, throwing her head back against the hard ground. Ashley takes the opportunity to focus on her exposed neck, sending tingles throughout her body.

Carefully, Ashley's hand inches down over Spencer's soft stomach, slipping under her t-shirt briefly before continuing downward. Her hand finds the catch and zipper to Spencer's pants, pulling them open. She rises up and to the side, allowing Spencer to kick off the jeans hurriedly before laying over her once again.

Minutes later, Ashley's hand is slipping inside Spencer's underwear, and then into Spencer herself. And, as they connect, a single tear trails down Spencer's cheek.


	12. XIII

Sorry for the long wait, but I've been incredibly busy lately. I hope you guys enjoy this one.

**The Great Love**

_Part One (Continued)_

XIII.

_i'm capsized, staring on the edge of safe_

A hand nudges Ashley's shoulder. She grunts sleepily and turns over.

"C'mon, get up! We gotta go!" The urgency in Madison's voice wakes Ashley instantly; she sits up suddenly, head almost colliding with Madison's face. As she reaches for her gun, Madison yells for her to stop. "Hey, it's not emergency time, stop trying to shoot things!"

"Then what the fuck is wrong with you?" Ashley collapsed back on the blankets, throwing an arm over her face.

"If we hurry, we can make it today!" Madison squealed. It was then that Ashley noticed Spencer wasn't beside her. She searched the empty space next to her with a hand.

"Jesus, Mads. You need to take a chill pill…or ten. Where's Spencer?"

"Right here." Ashley removed her arm and sat up, seeing Spencer standing a few feet away with a sheepish smile. "Did you have any part in this?"

Spencer shrugged, "She was unstoppable." Ashley groaned and closed her eyes.

--

An hour later, after Madison physically removed Ashley from the blankets, they were heading toward the town at the fastest pace Madison could get the still-sleepy Ashley to go. Spencer walked beside Ashley, with their hands entwined.

"So, what's this town like?"

"Well, it was started just after the war, for survivors. They built it only a few miles away from the New Regime, protected by the forest. To this day, few outside of the town itself even know it exists," Madison says.

"What's it called?"

"La Lumière. The light," she explains at Spencer's confused look.

"Sounds nice."

"It will be," Ashley sighs happily, "like heaven." Spencer looks away, shifting the pack she carried over her shoulder.

--

Night falls just before they arrive, the stars winking at them as they walk carefully.

"We're almost there," Ashley says, holding Spencer tightly to her to make sure she stays safe in the dark.

"I can see lights, they must have some fires going," Madison comments. Ashley nods, eyes narrowing at the brightness of the light coming from over the hill. As they climb, Ashley fingers tighten almost imperceptibly. Spencer notices and squeezes the hand holding hers. Ashley looks over to her and she can see her wide smile even in the dark.

She sees the smile slip away just as clearly.

Spencer sees what's happening in Ashley's reaction – sees the widened eyes, the slack jaw, the tightened muscles and almost bone-crushing grip on her hand. Then she sees what's happening for herself, and she doesn't know how to react.

The town is burning. They stand on a hill overlooking the blazing buildings and watch as troops swarm in and out of the streets and alleys, townspeople running away in terror. They watch as one soldier guns down a family running for their lives.

Before either girl can react, Madison is running down the hill. Ashley yells after her, but she doesn't stop. She makes it halfway down before Ashley sprints after her, leaving Spencer on the hill to see everything happen through the trees. She stands in the same spot and watches as Ashley catches Madison just on the edge of town, yanking her back and grabbing her arms to keep her from running again. Spencer can hear their screams, but can't make out what their saying, only see the rage in Madison's face and the urgency in Ashley's, illuminated by the roaring fire.

Spencer also sees what happens next, in a quick succession of events, no matter how much she wants to just close her eyes. Soldiers are bearing down on the two girls arguing just outside the blaze, but they don't notice, locked in their heated argument. Blue eyes fill with tears as she hears the gunshot, sees a hole rip open in Madison's chest, sees the blood as it glows, it _shines_, in the firelight.

Then Madison is collapsing to the ground and the guns turn, trained on a stunned Ashley, and Spencer can't stay still anymore. She runs as fast as she can, darting through the trees, and she's sure she won't make it in time, sure she'll see Ashley die just as Madison did. She screams as loud as she can, planting herself in between Ashley and the group of armed men in front of her. Her eyes are wild as she clutches the girl's arms behind her.

She hears a whisper from Ashley. "Just let them do it, Spencer."

"What?" She turns, taking Ashley's face in her hands, making her look into her eyes. "No, I won't let you die Ashley!"

"Why not?" Ashley's voice is broken – she's done, through with the world if it means she gets to see her family again.

"Because I love you."

Ashley shakes her head sadly, "I'm not sure that's enough, Spencer."

Before Spencer can reply, she hears the oddly familiar voice of one of the soldiers. "Spencer Carlin?" The blonde stiffens and lets her hands drop as Ashley looks on, confused and hurting. Spencer turns slowly, warily. The soldier at the front rips off his mask, revealing a boy, sweaty and messy haired. Ashley's fists clench and she grits her teeth.

He smiles, seemingly oblivious to the severity of the situation. "I sure never thought I'd see _you_ again."

"Aiden?" Spencer goes to step forward, thoughtless, but she catches herself, backing away, into Ashley, instead.

"Yeah," his grin widens and he looks down at his black uniform, "I guess I stepped up in the world a bit, huh?" Spencer nods, dumbfounded. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I--," she goes to reply, but Ashley's husky voice cuts her off.

"She's here with me." Aiden looks to the curly-haired girl with surprise, evidently having forgotten she was there. The gun in his hands rises ever so slightly.

"Who are you?"

"Ashley Davies. Who are _you_?"

He ignores her question. "Davies? Haven't heard _that_ name in a long time." A twisted grin spreads his mouth. "Family still dead?"

Ashley lunges, fists clenched so tight her fingers hurt, but Spencer catches her, dragging her back forcefully with a "don't". The brunette mutteres "bastard" and sinks back, fists still tight.

"So, are you comin' home? I bet Mr. Carlin would be very happy to see you. I just gotta finish up with this trash," he gestures to the burning town as a scream pierces the night air. "Then I can escort you home, if you want." Ashley can feel blood leaking through her fingers.

"Home?" she growls out. Spencer turns to Ashley, blue eyes pleading to hers.

"Ashley, I--," and then, it clicks in Ashley's brain. _Carlin_. The New Regime. She laughs hollowly, stepping back.

"I can't believe this."

"Just l-let me expla--,"

"No! Fuck that! Jesus, Spencer, you killed my family!" She brings her hands to her head, clenching tightly before letting them drop to her sides. A smear of blood is left on her forehead. "I can't….I have _no one_ now." Tears threaten to spill from her chocolate eyes, but she sets her jaw, back straight. "Not even you." Spencer doesn't contain the tears leaking from her eyes, allowing them to trail down her cheeks.

"I love you, Ashley." But she ignores Spencer, looking past her, at the boy who murdered everyone she loved. He raises his gun with a smirk, aiming directly at Ashley. "No!" Spencer screams, stepping in front of the other girl fully. "Just let her live and… I'll come home." He shrugs, indicating for the men behind him to grab the girl. Ashley goes without a struggle, eyes dead and dry.

Spencer collapses with a strangled sob and Aiden catches her, picking her up with ease. She buries herself into his chest, wishing for cinnamon and warmth and curly hair and strong arms and _Ashley_.

* * *

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